It takes a lot of strength and fortitude sometimes to admit that something is done and over than it does to stick to it out of some misguided sense of tenaciousness or determination. Sometimes it’s best to just find the will and lay it down and dust your hands off and let it go. That’s hard.
Harder still is determining when that time comes and when is the appropriate time to just say “Done” and know that you cannot keep going doing the same things you are doing. There are some walls you cannot go around, or through (as is my typical way), or over. And you have to realize that sometimes that thing you might consider an obstacle just might be a road sign, a cosmic harbinger saying “this is no longer your path”.
The issue with that is that it might be the only path you’ve ever known. And as terrifying as it may be to recognize that the path you’re on leads nowhere, it is often far more paralyzing to make that change. To spin that vehicle around and head in a different direction. Even in despair and anger and worry there is a sense of familiarity and comfort that you’ll be denied when turning over a new leaf, in venturing into the unknown. And then there is the realization that your previous travels, no matter intent, have taken you miles and miles away from where you need to be. Yeah, some will say that you’re right where you need to be at any given time. I’m not so sure.
I am sure that sometimes, the courage to change direction in your life has to be greater than the misguided courage of toughing it out when you know in your heart that you’re heading down a dead end road. The minute you start beating your head against a brick wall, then courage becomes stupidity. You drive down this one way path to nowhere, foot to the floor, engine screaming, teeth bared with determination, hands gripping the wheel in one more wide open attempt and that little voice inside you whispering ‘wrong way……..wrong way’.
Dammit I wish my better angels would learn to scream. Before we plummet off the cliff.
Then we put it all back together again and head down the same road. One more time. This time it’s got to work. Right?
No. Sometimes it is better to walk away from the wreckage of what was. Leave it smoldering in the past. So be it.
Sometimes you’ve just got to pay attention to the signs. And get yourself some more vocal angels.